Friday, August 05, 2005

Dardir fuq il-Ħondoq

"I found every single successful person I've ever spoken to had a turning point. Their turning point was where they made a clear, specific, unequivocal decision that they were not going to live like this anymore. They were going to succeed. Some people make that decision at 15...

Awissu 1995, Ħondoq ir-Rummien, Għawdex, 09.00


L-Imżebbel:
(Lil ħsibijieti) My thought is me: that's why I can't stop. I exist because I think… and I can't stop myself from thinking. At this very moment - it's frightful - if I exist, it is because I am horrified at existing. I am the one who pulls myself from the nothingness to which I aspire.


Ġeżebel: Ejja!

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) Kemm nixtieq iħossni ħażin u naqa’ għal isfel. Ma rridx naħseb iżjed. Ma rridx...

Ġeżebel: Se ddum tiċċassa 'l hemm isfel? Kultant qisek m’intx f’dinja!

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) I am. I am. I exist, I think, therefore I am; I am because I think that I don't want to be, I think that I …

Ġeżebel: Tgħidlix li qed tipprendih issa?

(Raġel jintefa' għal isfel bla ma jaħsibha darbtejn)

L-Imżebbel: (Ma ngħid xejn).

Ġeżebel: Qomna fis-sitta u nofs ta' fil-għodu biex nilħqu ta’ l-ewwel. Ħadna battikata ta’ l-ostja biex wasalna hawn. Sirna żibel biex sibna l-post.

L-Imżebbel: Minn daqshekk veru.

Ġeżebel: U dana kollu għalfejn?

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) I was just thinking … that here we sit, all of us, eating and drinking to preserve our precious existence and really there is nothing, nothing absolutely no reason for existing.

Ġeżebel: Biex niġu nsiru żibel hawn fuq! Lanqas ħaqq din il-battika kollha!

L-Imżebbel: Iva żomm kalma!

Ġeżebel: U kont ħadtli rasi tgħidli li trid tiġi hawn biex taqbeż! Ilek xhur teqred li trid tagħmilha!

L-Imżebbel: Għandek raġun... Jien naħseb hawn xi erbgħin pied qabża hawn. Min jaf x'dehxa! Ili xhur noħlom biha din.

Ġeżebel: Aqbeż mela!

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) Perhaps there is nothing in the world I cling to as much as this feeling of adventure; but it comes when it pleases; it is gone so quickly and how empty I am once it has left.

L-Imżebbel: Imma...

Ġeżebel: Imma xiex? Tista’ tispjegali l-għala qed tibża’?

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) Existence is what I am afraid of.

Ġeżebel: Għidli.

(Jerġa' jaqbeż l-istess raġel)

Ġeżebel: Imbasta tiftaħar kemm int ala bieb żobbok!

L-Imżebbel: Mela xiex! Daż-żgur li jiena ala bieb żobbi!

Ġeżebel: Ejja mela! Issa urini kemm veru - ħabbtu m'hemm isfel mela! (tidħak)

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) In your most insignificant actions, there is an enormous amount of heroism.

L-Imżebbel: Tridx inħabbtu ma' sormok?

Ġeżebel: L-ewwel aqbeż... u mbagħad naraw. (Tidħak) Se ddum taħsibha?

L-Imżebbel: Ah, hekk naqra aħjar. (Nidħak ukoll)

Ġeżebel: U ejja aqbeż madonna! Qisek għoxxi! Imbasta kollok arja!

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) It would be better if I could only stop thinking. Thoughts are the dullest things. Duller than flesh.

(Jaqbeż raġel ieħor)

L-Imżebbel: Għala ma taqbiżx int ħelwa?

Ġeżebel: Int ħlomt biha din. Jien ma ġejtx hawn biex naqbeż. Imma int iva. Int ridt tiġi.

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) They did not want to exist; only they could not help it.

L-Imżebbel: Bis-serjetà issa, tgħid fond biżżejjed hemm isfel?

Ġeżebel: Ma nafx, imma dawn it-tnejn li qabżu s’issa ma ġralhom xejn.

L-Imżebbel: X'għandu x'jaqsam?

Ġeżebel: Ejja ħa taqbeż ħi?! Kont naħsbek iżjed stonkuż ta!.

L-Imżebbel: Jiena qatt ma naqbeż jekk ma nkunx ċert.

Ġeżebel: Mela għalfejn ħafna paroli u ġibtni hawn?

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) When you live alone you no longer know what it is to tell something: the plausible disappears at the same time as their friends.

L-Imżebbel: Ma nafx.

Ġeżebel: Żgur ma tafx?

L-Imżebbel: ...Biex naqbeż hux.

Ġeżebel: (Lil ħsibijietha) Kemm intom redikoli intom il-bnedmin!

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti u lil moħħha) Għaliex, intom le?

L-Imżebbel: Forsi… kultant aħjar tibqa' tirfes fuq l-art taħraq taħt saqajk milli tagħmel pass fil-vojt.

Ġeżebel: Anke jekk tkun ħafi, bħalek?

L-Imżebbel: Forsi wkoll. Ma tafx fejn se tispiċċa jew kif se tiġik. Qatt ma tkun taf xejn.

Ġeżebel: Sa nofs siegħa ilu kont qed tgħidli li... ma jimportakx x'jiġri, għax hemm isfel se ssib jilqgħuk is-sireni ta' Poseidon, ma tmurx taħbat saqajk ma' xi ġebla fil-qiegħ. Mhux hekk?

L-Imżebbel: (Lil moħħha) La ġġarabx lil Mulej Alla tiegħek ja qaħba!

Ġeżebel: Mhux hekk?

L-Imżebbel: Veru, veru... Ejja ngħidlek x'nagħmlu.

Ġeżebel: Eh

L-Imżebbel: M'iniex inħossni tajjeb illum. Qisni qiegħed nistordi. Forsi għada nħossni aħjar.

Ġeżebel: X’qed tħosss?

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) Things are bad! Things are very bad: I have it, the filth…

L-Imżebbel: La Nausée

Ġeżebel: E? La Nausée?

L-Imżebbel: Ara tgħid xejn lil ħadd. Tridx immorru lura u niġu għada?

Ġeżebel: Tridx le?

L-Imżebbel: Għala le?

Ġeżebel: Ma nistgħux.

L-Imżebbel: Mhux xorta!? Għala le?

Ġeżebel: Għada… għada min rah?

L-Imżebbel: (Lil ħsibijieti) But for me there is neither Monday nor Sunday: there are days which pass in disorder, and then, sudden lightning like this one. Nothing has changed and yet everything is different.

(Jaqbeż raġel ieħor)


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


…Some people make it at 50

Awissu 2005, Fgura, Malta, 09.00


Jien: (Lil ħsibijieti) I have suddenly learned without apparent reason, that I have been lying to myself for ten years. And naturally, everything they tell about in books can happen in real life, but not in the same way. It is to this way of happening that I clung so tightly.



Ġeżebel: Dear Mr Roquentin,

We have the pleasure of informing you that you have passed the translation tests and that your application has been accepted by our Selection Committee. A confirmation letter will be sent to you very soon.

We will therefore ask for your recruitment on the basis of a temporary contract for one year (until 31 December 2006). This might take some time, due to administrative procedures. I do not think the recruitment could start before 1st October or most probably even 1 November. An extension of your contract will then be possible if you pass the EPSO's competition for translators. If you don't pass it, an extension might be possible, but we cannot give any guarantee of it today.

The next step (September ?) will be the medical examination which you will have to undergo here in Luxembourg. Our Personnel services will call you in due course.

This message is not an yet an official employment offer. We kindly ask you not to hand up your notice before you receive the official employment offer from our Recruitment Unit.

We look forward to seeing you in Luxembourg.

Best regards


Jien: (Lil ħsibijieti) I am going to outlive myself. Eat, sleep, sleep, eat. Exist slowly, softly, like these trees, like a puddle of water, like the red bench in the streetcar.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * *


…Most people never make it at all." - Brian Tracy (The Treasury of Quotes)

Awissu 1995, Ħondoq ir-Rummien, Għawdex, 09.38

L-Imżebbel:
(Lil ħsibijieti) My
memories are like coins in the devil's purse: when you open it you find only dead leaves.

Ġeżebel: Iva għadek hawn taħsibha!?

L-Imżebbel: Imma tgħid żgur fond biżżejjed il-baħar? Min jaf x'hemm? Inti kif qiegħda tarah?

Ġeżebel: (Lil ħsibijietha, lil ħsibijieti u lil ħsibijietkom kollha): Things are entirely what they appear to be, and behind them … there is nothing.

Mużika: Street Spirit (Fade Out) - Radiohead



Ħatab: 4

Blogger Arcibald qal/qalet...

Ejja aqbez la giek cans tad-deheb x'qed tistenna :) Cert li sa toghogbok il-haga u li sa terga tispicca titla tigri fuq biex terga taqbez bhal dak ir-ragel li xeba jaqbez waqt li int kont qed tahsibha. Jekk le dejjem tista terga' titla u ma taqbizx aktar.

1:33 pm  
Blogger Arcibald qal/qalet...

U hag'ohra (parir zghir)... bhalissa l-aktar haga prezzjuza li tista' taghmel fil-fehma hi li tara l-esperjenzi ta' min diga qabez... mhux biss biex tara x'hemm hemm isfel imma biex tara x'kienu ghamlu meta kienu waslu fl-ahhar biex jaqbzu.

Good luck sieheb :)

1:40 pm  
Blogger Antoine Cassar qal/qalet...

Aqbez ras. Aqbez.

Bloggata eccellenti.

10:06 pm  
Blogger Imfixkel qal/qalet...

Isimghu jghajjatlek u thalli l-hadd iwaqqfek.

6:52 am  

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